Rating:   28 Ratings     12345  

Louis XIV The Best Little Secrets Are Kept Atlantic

      "Who's your Daddy?" -- There's a wolf in sheep's clothing with the first 27 seconds of track 'Louis XIV', where they sing of themselves with severe handclaps -- or, on second thought, spankings. Lead vocalist Jason Hill has a roughly reverbed voice that is greatly reminiscent of The Rocky Horror Picture Show soundtrack mixed with a little porn.

      "Wind you up and make you crawl to me...Tie you up until you call to me." -- Heavy breathing and low piano keynotes with a few guitar string plucks bring in 'Finding Out True Love Is Blind' where every race and type of status quo chica are recited as girls Hill would like to have. Originally having debuted on Major League Baseball 2005, this song was one of the gems of the track sampling on the game. It's alluring, seductive and downright dirty. Not to mention powerfully aggressive. He's calling you over for a drink and then pouncing on you from behind when your back's turned.

      "We don't need to take off our clothes to get it on." -- 'Paper Doll' has him urgent and teasing. Tempting. He imitates a young girl as she replies to his requests, and he sing-song-replies back of just how he'd like her to talk dirty to him. The guitar tempo is created just right to be in sync with a headboard knocking up against a hotel wall.

      "Use me just to make your body feel right, if you want to take my body tonight." -- This is 'God Killed The Queen', but the proof is in the pudding. Once again, it's like The Strokes playing RHPS tunes on a viagra overdose.

      'A Letter To Dominique' is an entrancing acoustic beauty. Guitarwork is unbelievably crisp here, too. This song separates itself from the sex tracks, but even this band could use an overture as a breather or at least for stalling time to grab some more whipped cream.

      "I looked into your eyes and pushed your buttons and levers...” -- 'Illegal Tender' solidifies the RHPS theme, especially during the 'It takes a lover...' on the chorus. It's actually pretty anthemetic. And again, the guitars are all too pure and raw, so clear they sound like they're playing them right beside you.

      “We don’t have to go to the pool if you want me to make you wet.” -- ‘Pledge of Allegiance’ tells the story about a girl and dominance. She comes over to his house for sex all the time, to put it bluntly. And quite honestly, this is the sexiest track of the entire album.

      “We’ll be all right if I see you tonight... I can only watch you so long.” -- ‘Hey Teacher’ nearly crosses the line of the desperation of a boy lusting over his teacher, and threatens suicide if he’s not complied. Apparently the mind does crazy things if the body doesn’t get laid.

      ‘All The Little Pieces’ is an extremely Beatle-esque tune. Even some of the lyrics reflect that of ‘In My Life’, with a poppy love song backbeat. Though elegant, when compared to the rest of the album, it’s a dry spell.

      “You come up, before you go down.” -- Last but not least, there’s ‘Ball of Twine’, which ends up being yet another pretty acoustic piece. Hill takes a serious stand and puts a direct message out, singing, “God save The Kinks...And all the things I hear on the radio-- I’d rather hear drips from the sink.”

      The dirty minds behind this band are: Hill (lead vocalist, lead guitar, piano, bass), Brian Karscig (vocals, guitar, piano, bass), James Armbrust (bass), and Mark Anders Maigaard (drums). Keep in mind that each member switches up the instruments for various songs, which helps each track keep its unique sound.

      This album is for the hormonally charged and nymphos only. It’s rabid, raw, and chomping at the bit. Hill says it best: “If you want clean fun, go fly a kite.” Sex is selling quite well here; they don’t need anything else.

-Arie Musil 04/09/05